On pregnancy.

A friend of mine miscarried her baby, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and emptiness she must feel. If only we could send bits of strength and courage to help her heal. Something I admire so much about her is the way she loved that baby, she taught me that just because a pregnancy isn’t very far along, and the chances of losing life are high, doesn’t mean we should be afraid to love that little being. That tiny life deserves love no matter how certain its chances of survival are. Loving someone always makes us vulnerable, whether a fetus, partner, family member or friend. We could lose them at any moment, the pain doesn’t mean they weren’t worth loving, it means that their life brought us joy whether for 10 years, 10 weeks, 10 days or a lifetime. The world is a better place because of that love, we are better people for having loved.

Good directions.

I suppose I’ve learned a lot throughout this process, I’ve learned that we create our own happiness, that sometimes you have to be a disappointment and you have to be ok with that even when others aren’t. I’ve learned that Friday nights are lonely, and friends mean everything. That cooking for one sucks, that bills are awfully persistent and that money always runs out. I’ve learned that boys in bars are obnoxiously annoying, but that the lack of them is far worse. I’ve learned that love isn’t always enough, that it should be but it just isn’t. I’ve learned that when I get knocked down I will get up again, I’ve watched my heart shrivel and withdraw into itself, I’ve learned that even your darkest moments come to an end, I’ve learned that every day is different, each day brings its challenges and each day brings with it something to cherish. I know I still have a long road ahead, I’m much further from where I began, if only someone would be so kind as to point me in the right direction.

Dragons.