Every Storm (runs out of rain) Gary Allan

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Freckles.

It looks as if someone has taken a toothbrush covered in light brown ink and splattered it across my face, freckles…a sign that my soul is filled with sunshine. Two or three weeks have passed, although I can’t be entirely sure as I’ve lost track of time, something that has indeed been a blessing. It’s definitely not easier, just clearer, and with the ins and outs of days which pass as a slow slumberous breath, I begin to have hope for the future that lies ahead; Uncurling and wild, untouched. A deep sadness still anchors my heart; I fight it off with a weak promise that we will always be friends. Something he won’t promise, something he can’t. I tell myself that I’ll fight for him, no longer as a husband but as a friend. I’ll be there for him always, always?

Yes. Finally.

B. R. E. A. T. H. E

Time ebbs and flows as if it has become liquid, oozing out of days, drowning the nights. My mind is plagued by answer-less questions. I shut my phone off; try to quieten the world I writhe within, the world I've left in shards.
Somewhere inside of me, that tiny flame burns. Quietly melting the wax which simultaneously feeds and suffocates it. Storm winds gust around it, the flame flickers and spits, smoke masking its light.
The smoke clears and a tear of wax runs down the side of the candle. The flame flickers.
It can breathe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After.

Mistakes.

The sounds of the plane engines calm my broken soul, I try to sip at a ginger ale but my stomach has curled into itself like a scared hedgehog. Nine months of pain flash before me-crackly slides on a flickering projector.
With August 7th came our first anniversary, what a perfect day it was. We had a picnic on our lawn, our little dog running between us, taking pictures of one another in the sunshine, eating, drinking, laughing. Glasses of Champagne and a blanket on the floor in front of the naked fireplace we were renovating. Later that night our families came together and we celebrated by sharing the top layer of our wedding cake. I don't think I could have been happier in that moment, forever felt much too short.
A mere seven days later we arrived home from a camping trip, drunk with memories from the weekend, songs around the campfire, while Blake played the guitar, too many drinks, great friends and laughter on the lake.
The memory begins to blur at this point, but I remember setting some of the camping supplies down in my beautiful kitchen, feeling so happy to be home again. I walked to the back door to let the Dog out when my phone buzzed. This is the turning point of my life, in those few short seconds it took for me to read that message, my whole world changed, my universe cracked. I read the words several times in my head, "no one will tell you, so i will- your husband was kissing a girl at a wedding dance in June" I read it again out loud, I remember looking at him in disbelief, his words coldly denying the truth, I knew in my bones that they were true. I spent the next three hours in a field of the school i had always imagined our future children would attend. Those hours spent on the phone, my tears matched one by one by the biting of Mosquitos. His incessant calls, his promises that nothing happened masked by the voice of the person who recalled the night’s events, the other stories that began to surface, how no one believed this was the first time.
How he lied to me in those fragile moments, my heart clinging desperately to any hope that he was telling the truth. He betrayed me twice that day; the first time when he let me walk out that door, a second time when he let me walk back in with her on the other line. I can still hear her voice echoing throughout the walls of our house "He wasn't wearing a ring, he didn't tell me he was married, I'm sorry"
It was at that moment that Blake truly lost me, within those minutes that his beautiful blushing bride recoiled into herself and died.
He watched her.
 

Echo's

The night I had been so desperately longing for slowly crept upon us. My nails were polished, my hair curled into perfect ringlets, I was more than ready for the magic the night would hold. I noticed how jittery he was, how he kept checking the window. Finally he said it was time to go, I was shaking already, trying to take in every minute. My hand moulded within his grasp, our fingers effortlessly entwined as he led me down to the parking lot of the condo we had recently purchased.
My friend Olivia's voice from months prior entered my head "you can't just live with her you know" she scolds, Blake turned away, I laughed nervously.

Pulled back to the present by the opening of my car door, Blake reached around me into the car for something then slammed the door before I could get in. "That was rude" I frowned. He smiled "We have other means of transportation" the excitement shone through those beautiful emerald eyes, how I was lost in them, on that night and for all of those that followed.