As time slips by my heart softens. Memories seep in through every crack and crevice, tears sting my eyes and a terrible ache settles into my bones. I look down at my empty stomach and know that by now it should have been filled with life. Why? I ask, have I been led down this path? What is the purpose for this pain? These choices? This outcome? I've decided to leave what is left of "home" for the duration of the summer, we all agree that I need to go and find some peace. At this point hope feels like sand slipping through my fingers. Some of it remains, sticky. Determined.